just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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