I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
