god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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