Tell her she can't have a vagina
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
