do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
