You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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