That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
