Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize