The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
