How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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