I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
