i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
COCAINE IS GR8
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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