And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
