Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
