when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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