if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
