guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
