I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
