Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
