News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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