apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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