And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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