so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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