how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
