I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
