yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So much Jack, so little girl.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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