I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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