Whod you bang
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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