Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
