we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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