singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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