I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
