you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
