You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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