listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
