can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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