they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
