I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
