Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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