Where did you get a picture of my penis
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
