There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
