so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
