There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
