how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
