Betty ford says i'm here all night
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
