she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Panties = found
Randomize
