I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
