You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
