Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
