why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
